When the 34th season of Dancing With the Stars premieres tonight, I will not be watching to see which former professional athlete or current TikTok star or Baldwin can best execute a rumba. My interest in the long-running franchise has little to do with dancing at all. What makes the show worth watching is the possibility that one of those former professional athletes or TikTok stars will decide it’s a good idea to embark on a public romantic relationship with their professional dance partner.

The Dancing With the Stars showmance is a trope I look forward to every season. Last year, Sports Illustrated ’s “Swimsuit” issue cover model Brooks Nader hooked up with her partner, Gleb Savchenko, and while the two did not last long on the show — they were eliminated week four after a subp

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