Recent events and turmoil have more people flocking to church now than they have in years, leading to a new wave of visitors who may be unfamiliar with what to expect at church.

To help the newbies, The Babylon Bee has compiled the following list of things you need to know before visiting a church for the first time.

If you hear "Let's sing that chorus one more time," it means you'll sing it at least another 5 times: Just to be sure God hears it.

Small talk in the lobby is mandatory: Escape is not permitted until you've answered how your week was at least six times.

When the pastor says, "Turn with me in your Bibles," you don't actually have to: Even long-time church members sometimes don't know about this one.

Do NOT sit in the front 3 rows: It's a rule.

It's OK to use a fake na

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