OSWEGO, NY — In a puzzling mystery of modern science, a local man found this week that even after a light 10-minute jog, his visible layer of belly fat had not disappeared.
After noticing he was starting to get a bit pudgy around the middle, Scott Waffleman decided to take back control of his life with one brisk jog around his local park. After a full 10 minutes of intermittent running, however, Scott was shocked to discover that his abdominal fat had not given way to a lean six pack.
"It's really discouraging," he said. "And not only that, it's frustrating to put in all that work and effort to get no results. I mean, I only stopped jogging to check my phone six times during that 10 minutes!"
Scott's medical mystery was under investigation by several of the top doctors on the East Coast