Marriage advice: My wife has been keeping a humiliating secret from me. I finally caught her red

Dear Prudence is Slate’s advice column. Submit questions here .

Dear Prudence,

I just found out—after attempting to initiate something in the morning!—that my wife has been keeping a secret from me. I’m heartbroken and betrayed.

She wears earplugs to bed! She confessed that she can’t stand my “snoring,” though she’s never mentioned it before. She tries to say that “it’s not my fault,” but if she didn’t blame me, why the secrecy? She never said anything, just went behind my back, thinking I wouldn’t notice. I said that now I don’t know what else she resents and judges me for, since even sleeping next to me is unbearable for her. I feel like I can’t trust anything she says to me now. How do I know she isn’t lying and then doing something behind my back? I don’t know where to go f