How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Jessica and Rich here . It’s anonymous!

Dear How to Do It,

I am currently in a strange situation. I am a 40-year-old male, and my partner is a 37-year-old female.

She wants to see me have sex with another woman while she watches. I kind of want to try it, but I am afraid that she will ask for something else in return, e.g., sex with another man while I watch. She hasn’t said this, but a few years ago, she let me go down on her friend, and for us to be equal, she went down on my friend, who’s a man. She gets turned on by this voyeurism fetish. But I don’t get turned on when it’s her turn. How do I approach this topic without sounding selfish about it, and should I seek professional help if I am bein

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