Feb 9, 2025; New Orleans, LA, USA; Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Jalen Hurts (1) lines up for the tush push play on the goal line against the Kansas City Chiefs during Super Bowl LIX at Ceasars Superdome. Mandatory Credit: Mark J. Rebilas-Imagn Images

The year is 2022. The Philadelphia Eagles utilize a signature (and dominant) play involving their quarterback's tree trunk legs, the center of their offensive line, and a hearty push onto his derriere every time they get into a short yardage situation. It annoys everyone who can't stop it. The Eagles and their totally reasonable fans are indignant about it. A roundabout conversation about potentially banning it ensues all over the pro football spectrum, complete with qualifications about why it would be "soft" to ban it and why it's not "aesthetically pleasing."

Eventually, nothing comes of any of this.

The year is 2025. The Philadelphia Eagles utilize a signature (and dominant) play involving their quarterback's tree trunk legs, the center of their offensive line, and a hearty push onto his derriere every time they get into a short yardage situation. It annoys everyone who can't stop it. The Eagles and their totally reasonable fans are indignant about it. A roundabout conversation about potentially banning it ensues all over the pro football spectrum, complete with qualifications about why it would be soft to ban it and why it's not aesthetically pleasing.

Eventually, nothing comes of any of this.

How is it that we're barely two weeks into a new NFL season and I already have to read the same exact "Tush Push" debate, with the same exact talking points, with the same exact defenders and detractors? The latest episode comes after accusations that referees couldn't properly officiate the Eagles' false-starting with the Tush Push while salting away their win over the Kansas City Chiefs last Sunday.

And to this, I say: Who. Cares?

Why are we doing this again? Is there NOTHING else interesting happening at the start of a new NFL season? Who is this Tush Push discussion for? Who does this serve? Why is it taking so much oxygen in the same manner it has for nearly THREE YEARS now? Is this all we have to talk about with the sport and league that defines so much of American culture? How depressing! Are we really gonna keep scraping the bottom of the barrel and rehashing this discussion every fall? What sort of monsters have we become that any of this still resonates? Is no one tired?

Please. No. Have mercy on me.

Think of your seventh-favorite bog-standard sports blogger/aggregator and what I have to deal with whenever we bring this up. What do you think my life is like when this happens? What do you think my bosses tell me? I'm simply not allowed to ignore this sick, twisted conversation. I live days like this like a fictional, cynical local weatherman forced to relive the second day of February over and over and over. Actually, that might be the charitable interpretation of my existence when Tush Push talk comes back.

It's much more like that scene from A Clockwork Orange, honestly, with my eyes forcefully held open.

This isn't fun for me! And I know this isn't fun for you! This isn't fun for anyone!

With all due respect to legendary former Eagles center Jason Kelce amid a rant about this "new" controversy, as the original lynchpin of the Tush Push, I ain't reading all that, I'm happy for u tho, or sorry that happened:

Don't ban the Tush Push. Take it a step further. Ban the Eagles. Ban ex-Eagles. Vote for and pass the NFL version of censure on anyone who dares broach this silly, grating, irritating conversation no one can seem to stop having.

It's time for us to put our feet down and say enough is enough. I can't take it anymore.

I'll see you all here in March when we start talking about banning the Tush Push again. Sigh.

This article originally appeared on For The Win: Ban the Eagles for rehashing the grating Tush Push debate

Reporting by Robert Zeglinski, For The Win / For The Win

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