Listen up, men. It's time to put the ways of misogyny behind you and stop calling your wife outdated, sexist terms like "beautiful." Instead, try any of these less chauvinistic compliments:
"Able-bodied": Women love to hear affirmation of their ableness.
"Perfectly fine": Perfectly fine. So nice.
"Good bones": This will set her heart a-flutter.
"A real self-starter": Is she blushing? Oh, she's blushing.
"Proficient at Excel and QuickBooks": She will be putty in your hands.
"Breasts of a goat and neck of a ferret or whatever Solomon said": He had such a way with words.
"Sturdy": Women appreciate hearing they have a good foundation.
"The strong nose of a Caesar": She'll feel like a princess -- no, an empress!
"Symmetric": Both ears? Yowza.
"Not bad in this lighting": Wh