Child Deeply Concerned To Hear There's A Bomb In Gilead

TULSA, OK — Local child Stephen Reese became deeply worried during church this morning after hearing there is a bomb located somewhere in Gilead.

"Shouldn't we do something?" worried Stephen, anxiously looking around the congregation. "Why is everyone so calm??"

The church service had started innocuously enough, with Stephen receiving a popsicle stick as a "take-home" from a less-than-memorable children's sermon. Then, out of nowhere, the song leader stood up and suddenly proclaimed that, "There is a bomb in Gilead!" Stephen gasped in horror. The grown-ups around him seemed to be in a state of total shock. They stared blankly back at the song leader, and then began half-heartedly repeating over and over that there was, in fact, a bomb in Gilead.

With his little sister of no use, Stephen