TROUTDALE, MI - An insane man who is known for stumbling through the streets of Troutdale shouting at people that he'll buy back things from them that he never owned after he takes money from them that he does not possess has become one of the leading candidates in the 2020 presidential election.

While the man's name remains unknown, most experts agree that he is clinically insane and has very little connection to actual reality. "He seems to believe that everything on this Earth once belonged to him, including all the money. Within that paradigm, he believes he can spend all the money to buy all the stuff he wants even though he is literally just some guy who smells like bad tuna salad and whiskey," said psychologist Henry P. Davis of Dartmouth. "This man is very ill."

But before the ma

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