BEIJING — Following yet another pile of evidence suggesting coronavirus escaped from a lab in Wuhan, the remorseful People's Republic of China tried sending over another "We're Sorry For Creating COVID" balloon to their friends in America.

General Secretary Xi Jinping was reportedly "velly solly" for botching an innocent, surreptitious population control measure meant to only decimate his own citizens.

"We thought it was plainly obvious the engineered supervirus came from our lab in Wuhan. Only a moron would think otherwise," said a Chinese official with a name we gave up trying to pronounce. "We've been sending apology letters to our colleague Dr. Fauci for years, asking him to read them on TV, but he says they keep getting lost in the mail."

Exhausted balloon engineers were reportedly

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