Shocking as it may be, it’s true: Paul Verhoeven’s erotic drama Showgirls is officially 30 years old today. And, given that showgirls of all stripes are enjoying a new moment of cultural relevancy, thanks to Taylor Swift’s upcoming album (and accompanying concept film !), there’s never been a better time to revisit it.

Speaking for myself, I was probably 11 and at a loosely supervised sleepover when I first saw Showgirls , so in many ways, cuing it up recently felt like a brand-new experience. How’d that go, you may ask? Below, find quite literally every thought I had while rewatching Showgirls .

1. Watching women hitchhike in movies will always stress me out; I am nothing if not a narc at my core.

2. I mean, Elizabeth Berkley’s Nomi can handle herself, but…I don’t trust this

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