Go to the diner. Consider eating something else. Get the grilled cheese.

As far as I can tell, you key open the can, remove a sardine, and place it on a saltine.

First, peel your apple. All of it. Not a hint of skin should be detected. Then slice the naked apple into manageable quarter-moon pieces. Take your spoon and scoop a huge amount of peanut butter. You could technically put all this in a bowl, but it’s not necessary because it’ll be gone soon.

If you are not at an airport or stranded off the interstate with a flat tire near a Quick Mart, you can make your own adult Lunchables. Other people like to call this “charcuterie” or “charcutes,” for short, but they are fooling no one. Their fancy boards are Lunchables.

Once you acquire all your little foodsies, put them on a plate an

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