CHICAGO, IL — A local sports fan was relieved to finally reach the end of a miserable baseball season and expressed gladness that the White Sox would finally be finished playing before coming to the sudden and unpleasant realization that Bears season had just begun.

White Sox fans have been left traumatized by the thousands during what has been a historically poor season, with the team poised to set a new Major League Baseball record for losses in a 162-game season. While relieved by the knowledge that this would be the final week of baseball's regular season, fans shuddered in horror when struck by the reality that they must now endure another Bears season.

"So glad White Sox season is over — aw, man, it's Bears season now!" exclaimed devoted Chicago sports fan Jason Parks. "I've had th

See Full Page