DEAR MISS MANNERS: I attended a play at a theater that had just one single-stall ladies’ room. When I was finished using the facilities, I opened the door and faced a woman standing squarely in my way, scowling at me. After holding the scowl for a few silent moments, she said, “I thought you’d never leave.”

Taken aback, I merely laughed awkwardly as we sidled past each other.

Miss Manners, I promise I did not take an inordinate amount of time in the restroom. Was there a better way to respond?

GENTLE READER: “Oh, dear, am I responsible for your having an accident? I’m so sorry.”

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DEAR MISS MANNERS: I find the common out-of-office message, “I will respond to your inquiries at my earliest convenience,” extremely inappropriate.

Really, “at your earliest convenience”? I recommend

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