In my hometown of Asheville, North Carolina, we’re pretty used to getting picked for all the things : Beer City, USA , the nicest place in America , hippest place to drive an electric car with a fancy mountain bike hitched on the back.

With a population of fewer than 100,000 , we punch above our weight in terms of cool liberal cities. (Looking at you, Boulder, Colorado.) That’s why I’m writing this as an open letter to President Donald Trump , demanding to know why Portland, Oregon, gets troops – and we don’t.

Also, I wouldn’t presume to challenge your assessment that liberal municipalities present a serious national security threat – what with us not hiding our homeless people well enough – but maybe after you've had the National Guard march around different cities, they could

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