DEAR ABBY: When my lifelong friend “Cheryl” and I would talk once a week to catch up with each other’s lives, she’d describe her other friends’ woes in a really animated way, including a loud voice and extremely vulgar words about those friends. She even talked about her recently departed mother this way. Her mother had not been part of her life for more than 50 years, but when she reentered the scene, she had developed dementia. Her mom’s habit of vulgar talk was probably where Cheryl picked it up.

The funny thing is, when we talk in person, Cheryl doesn’t do it. It’s only on the phone. I recently had a falling-out with an elderly friend, “Louise,” over a similar situation, but it was politically fueled. Louise would call me, inebriated, shouting nasty stuff about my political stance. I

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