Dear Annie: I often see letters in your column from mothers-in-law with various complaints about their daughters-in-law. The themes are familiar: “She never invites me to activities.” “She doesn’t take pictures of me with the baby.” “She won’t let me see my grandchild.”

What I find myself wondering is: Why is all of the frustration directed toward the daughters-in-law? If these women want to be included, invited, or photographed, why aren’t they turning to their own sons? It seems that the burden of keeping extended family relationships warm and well-managed is unfairly placed on daughters-in-law, while the sons—their own children—are left out of the equation.

In my view, communication and planning with one’s own parents should be a shared responsibility, not something automatically drop

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