Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

I have been married to my wife, “Diana,” for two years now, and this is a second marriage for both of us. Diana has a 9-year-old daughter, “Emma,” from her previous marriage, and I have a 7-year-old daughter, “Shania.” Emma is, to put it mildly, a spoiled brat.

She refuses to share, will whine and throw tantrums when she can’t have her way, and does all in her power to make Shania’s life miserable when it’s Diana’s turn for custody. My wife recently suggested having my daughter stay with my ex whenever she has Emma “to keep the peace.” My ex and I share 50/50 custody, and I greatly value the time I get to spend with my daughter. I have tried to kee

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