WASHINGTON, D.C. — After thirty minutes of intensely questioning HHS Secretary nominee Robert F. Kennedy Jr., senators took a brief break to announce that the next line of questioning was sponsored by Pfizer.

According to sources, Pfizer booked the most primetime questioning slot, while Moderna's lower Senate sponsorship level bought the opening statement.

"The next round of questions, which will be centered on shielding vaccine manufacturers from lawsuits, is brought to you by Pfizer," announced Senator Elizabeth Warren. "We are deeply thankful to Pfizer and all of our corporate sponsors who make this show happen. Now, Mr. Kennedy, isn't it true that you would like to see vaccine manufacturers held liable if they create unsafe vaccines, which will cause everyone in the world to die of p

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