After extensive research I can reveal that Adolf Hitler was not, in fact, gay. Nor was he black, transexual, secretly a woman or neurodiverse. He was, it turns out, a straight, white, cisgendered male. As for history’s good guys – now that is a different matter. The latest to be claimed as belonging to some kind of fashionable minority is Horatio Nelson who, according to a Liverpool art gallery, was queer.

If activists want to go around trying to claim historic figures as their own, then fine. But I’m not sure why taxpayers should be funding this guff

It makes this claim based on the nothing but the old chestnut of Nelson’s supposedly last words ‘kiss me, Hardy’ uttered to Vice Admiral Sir Thomas Hardy. That seems to be that: enough to suppose that were Nelson still alive now he would be

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