As a Traitors obsessive, there are few things on my bucket list more important than sitting at the very roundtable where Claudia Winkleman has picked her cloaked assassins.

Days after 18 stars — including Sir Stephen Fry, Paloma Faith, Charlotte Church, and Tom Daley — banished one another after hours of tense interrogation on Celebrity Traitors, and just moments before the next batch of civilian contestants entered the castle, I found myself at Ardross Castle in Inverness, at that table.

Seated opposite eight equally anxious players, we were about to enjoy a money-can’t-buy experience — and I felt sick.

Unfortunately for us, there was no money to be won. We weren’t going to leave this table any richer than we were 10 minutes earlier. But walking into the room where Kieran left his infa

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