When a woman says, ‘I want effort,’ what does it mean for a man?

You’ve probably heard it before. A woman you’re dating says, “I just want effort.” And you’re standing there thinking, “What does that even mean? I text you. I hang out with you. I’m trying, right?” Here’s the truth: when women say they want effort, they’re not talking about grand gestures or expensive gifts. They’re talking about intentionality, about knowing she matters to you beyond the casual “wyd” texts and late-night hangouts. Let’s break it down. When a woman says she wants effort, she’s saying, “I want to feel like you actually see me.” Effort isn’t about doing everything perfectly — it’s about noticing. Notice when she changes her hair. Notice what stresses her out at work. Notice how she likes her coffee. It’s those little details that make her feel cared for.