Prior to Kemi Badenoch’s arrival the Conservative party played us recordings of her voice piped over dramatic lift muzak. Conference seasons are always bizarre – gatherings as they are of remarkable sub-species of people who look at British politics and think ‘wow, that’s exciting’ rather than ‘oh God, what now’ (and I include myself in this category). It isn’t showbusiness for ugly people, it’s trainspotting for maniacs. Yet by the standards of conference weirdness, the soundtrack aside, Mrs Badenoch was, well, quite normal.

As she arrived on stage in person she seemed genuinely surprised by the warmth of the welcome. Her ‘thank you conference’ was uttered in the tone of someone taken aback by a group of friends jumping out from behind a sofa to wish them happy birthday. Even more surpri

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