My 95-year-old grandmother doesn't want to move to an assisted living facility. We are stuck with an impossible choice.

• My 95-year-old grandmother refuses to leave her home even though she needs 24/7 care. • We're watching her deteriorate while feeling powerless to help. • No one can force her to accept help, and it makes me think about what I would want in the future.

My grandmother has been living alone since her husband died 14 years ago.

She cooked her meals, tidied her home, and tended a small garden. My father and aunt checked in a few times a week, but mostly let her handle things on her own.

For years, her independence seemed stable, and we assumed she would continue managing on her own. But now that things are changing, my family is stuck with an impossible choice.

Her independence slipped away

The changes crept up slowly, then accelerated. First, family members started bringing grocerie