CHICAGO, IL - Local second-grader Scotty Watkins isn't able to read yet, but his teachers say he's showing great promise in Critical Race Theory (CRT) classes and is currently racist at a 12th-grade level.

"Scotty's progress is truly remarkable," said his teacher Sandra Martinelli. "Though he can't read full sentences yet, he's in the 99th percentile in CRT. Every time he sees a white person, he reflexively yells 'RACIST' and punches them in the groin. He's years ahead of his classmates!"

Chicago added a CRT section to their standardized testing last fall which allows the district to compare students' understanding of race relations across different schools. Since most second-graders in Chicago can't read, the test involved showing photos of people with different skin colors to the stude

See Full Page