LOS ANGELES — Who’s that on the back of your milk carton the morning after the Dodgers lost Game 3 of the National League Division Series to the Philadelphia Phillies, 8-3, on Wednesday night?

MISSING

Ōtani Shōhei

DATE MISSING: 10/1/25

EYES: Brown

HAIR: Brown

HEIGHT: 6-foot-3

BATS: Left

THROWS: Right

Of course you recognize that guy; Shohei Ohtani is only the greatest baseball player alive.

Check that swing – the greatest baseball player ever.

He’s Him, yeah? And so, no, good isn’t going to be good enough. Great wouldn’t even be good enough.

For $700 million, the Dodgers are right to expect marvelous Marvel-esque feats, superhuman stunts, for him to deliver two-way torment as only he can, the game’s only pitching-hitter/hitting-pitcher unicorn.

They’re right to be banking on O

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