ANAHEIM, CA — Local father Daxton Colt has filed a lawsuit against Disneyland after discovering it was not, in fact, the happiest place on earth.

"Nope. This is definitely not the happiest I have ever felt. Not even close," said Colt, surveying his surroundings. "This isn't even the happiest place in Anaheim. I felt much, much happier at Tony's Deli just yesterday while eating a Reuben sandwich. False advertising."

Colt reportedly became suspicious that Disneyland was not actually the happiest place on earth shortly after arriving at the gates. "These people look like they're having a decent time at best," muttered Colt. "Yeesh, I don't like the look of these lines. I don't see us getting through the attractions very efficiently. I'm going to keep an open mind, but I'm skeptical."

Unfor

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