“As a token of my esteem for your frankness and writing skills, I’ve enclosed a sample of my wonder oil...” That is simultaneously one of the most touching and funniest sentences I’ve ever read. It’s a quote from a letter I recently received. Yes. I have been sent a bottle of homemade Wonder Oil by a fan. You know you’ve made it as a writer when the Wonder Oil arrives. I’ll bet ol’ Phillip Adams never receives Wonder Oil – though he could do with a bucket of the stuff.

Credit: Robin Cowcher

I’m generally wary of unsolicited concoctions that lob in the mail, knowing what a glorious scalp I would make on the belt of some vengeful nobody bent on culling saints. Sarah is less cautious. (Finds me less important – indeed, laughable as a target for assassination.) She had her feet glistening w

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