Man Longs For Simpler Time When Games Were 2D And You Could Never Get Past The First Level

RANCHO CUCAMONGA, CA — Local middle-aged man Dustin Sidewood was seen gazing out a window thoughtfully, longing for a time when video games were 2D and it was impossible to beat the first level, sources said.

"I used to appreciate games more when you knew going into it there was no chance you'd even beat the first level," Sidewood said. "You didn't obsess about save systems or how long a game was, you just enjoyed it. Take me back."

Professional video game journalists disagreed, however, noting that past games were so short that there was almost nothing to write about. "Every game was good back then because they could only do one or two things and were forced to perfect it before releasing," said esteemed Polygon writer Tilly Manhood. "There wasn't anything to complain about. If things