We’ve all been there—our fingers itching over the keyboard as we order endless piles of clothes for the fall season ahead. Crispy cool weather needs crispy new fashions! But alas, as those packages pile up outside your apartment door, the boxes inevitably contain a plethora of lulus and turkeys, things that barely fit or flatter you, made of fabric whose cheesiness could not be discerned from the AI photos on the internet.

This is why in-person shopping is so wonderful, why it will never lose its glow and its profound allure! Instead of schlepping losers back to the UPS store, you can merely leave them in the fitting room. And this is why the opening of a fancy new outlet mall less than an hour from Manhattan—and boasting names like Valentino! Thom Browne! Missoni! Cavalli!—is being met,

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