U.S. — The country was thrown into chaos this morning as a federal judge from the D.C. District Court overturned the law of gravity nationwide.

"The law of gravity is a bigoted law that quite literally keeps people down. This is typical of the fascist authoritarianism that has become President Trump's brand," said Judge Porben Crumbly of his latest ruling. "It is a blatant violation of the Constitution and my sensitive leftist sensibilities. It is therefore my divine will as an all-powerful federal judge that gravity no longer exists."

Within minutes of Judge Crumbly making his decision, everything in the country began to float into the sky in compliance with the ruling. Sources said the sky was now filled with thousands of people, automobiles, chickens, rocks, televisions, and other obj

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