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To the uninitiated, the differences between Catholics and Protestants may be confusing. Why the funny hats? What's with all the casseroles? Why are they always burning each other at the stake?

The Babylon Bee is here to lay all your questions and concerns to rest. We are experts in Protestantism, and we even hired a Catholic intern so we'd know more about Catholicism. Read and learn!

Definitions

Catholicism: The true Church, established by Jesus himself, with funny hats.

Protestantism: The true church, established by Jesus himself, before the Catholics ruined it with their funny hats.

Origins

Catholicism: Jesus gathered a papal conclave of the College of Cardinals, where they issued Saint Peter the first official Pope hat and Popemobile. He then cooked fried

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