The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City is the craziest show on television for a number of reasons, but this week that reason is the fact that the episode begins with Whitney planning a garden party and singing an elaborate song (limerick?) about her friends for no apparent reason. And then, before we can even recover from that, Mary wonders why Whitney chose the venue that she did, informing us that the former owner killed his wife and himself on Christmas Day in front of their dog. “And I think the dog was like, not normal after,” she says. But maybe the peacocks walking around the garden were an attempt at brand synergy?

When they all arrive, Whitney explains that she wanted to bring them together for a day of positivity (as if) because she’s been having a hard time feeling like herself

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