Kim Dhatt, a 34-year-old recruitment specialist, was in a relationship with her ex-partner for four years. When they first got together, he earned slightly more than she did, and the difference didn't bother either of them. After a series of promotions over 18 months, her salary tripled — and then he couldn't deal, Dhatt says.

Her partner's self-worth was tied directly to his income, and it eroded as her salary grew, Dhatt tells me. He insisted on splitting costs 50-50, leaving her with a disposable income that she wanted to spend on nice things but felt like she couldn't. When she proposed booking a luxury vacation for the two of them, for example, he insisted they go on a cheaper trip and divide the cost. She felt like she was compromising. They argued often, and resentment curdled.

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