JD Vance is what we’d call, back in my school days, an asshole. My kids and their friends have their own Gen Z versions, a “sweat” or “try-hard.” Always trying to impress other kids—who are scouting for back door escapes the minute he walks into a movie theater or Dave & Buster’s where they happen to be.

The JD Vances always had girlfriends in Canada or Niagara Falls. In college talked about scoring the winning touchdown for til you discovered they washed team towels. As an adult, take credit for scoring the big client when they collate copies for the presentation. Or with JD, claim in a book they're from a place they're not, grew up in circumstances they didn’t.

And the real tell you’re a deeply insecure little dweeb with the self-assurance of a shell-less turtle? You change your nam

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