Kim Kardashian says co-parenting with ex-husband Ye, formerly known as Kanye West, is “not easy.”
In an Oct. 15 episode of the “Call Her Daddy” podcast, the SKIMS founder revealed to podcast host Alex Cooper that it’s been a couple of months since Kardashian and her kids have heard from the music mogul.
“I welcome a great, healthy relationship with kids and their dad,” said Kardashian, 44. “I push for that all the time, but I also protect them when it’s time for that. And it goes in waves and phases and it’s a lot of work.”
While their kids live with their mother full-time, the reality star lets them travel to see West, 48, wherever he is “all over the world,” according to Kardashian.
Data shows Kardashian is not alone. The number of children living only with their mothers has doubled in the past 50 years, according to U.S Census data. Some TikTok users commented on clips from the podcast, saying they can relate to Kardashian’s co-parenting relationship with her ex.
“Co-parenting is truly a universal struggle. No matter the money, location, background, it can be SO tough!!” one user commented on a clip of the episode.
As these family dynamics become more common, what’s the secret to a successful co-parenting relationship? Emotional maturity, healthy boundaries, skillful communication and child-focused parenting, said Karen Bonnell, psychotherapist and author of the “The Co-Parenting Handbook.”
It’s “no small task,” she previously told USA TODAY. But children ultimately benefit when parents do the work.
How to successfully co-parent
Co-parenting exists on a continuum and occurs when two people share a child, Bonnell said. The first step in developing the foundation for a good co-parenting relationship is a thoughtful parenting plan.
It also takes emotional maturity – “the capacity to grieve the loss of the intimate partnership, relinquishing dreams that surround being part of an original family and allow the future to be whole and healthy,” she said.
The bulk of parents want what’s best for their children and simply need information, support and skills to help with co-parenting, Bonnell said. But some exes are toxic and prolong conflict that affects children.
Unfortunately, there’s not much a parent can do to change their ex-partner’s behavior unless it crosses the line to violence or other misconduct that can be addressed in the legal system.
But the good thing about co-parenting is that you don’t always need a cooperative ex-partner for it to be successful, Bonnell said.
“Skillful co-parenting doesn’t actually need both parents to work together,” she said. “One parent can commit to healthy, skillful co-parenting regardless of their child’s other parent’s interest or willingness to participate.”
As long as the parent cares for their children and listens to them, while providing warmth, structure and healthy boundaries, they're able to successfully co-parent regardless of how the other parent responds.
“It’s not a question of whether you’ll co-parent,” she said. “The question is how skillfully you will co-parent.”
Adrianna Rodriguez can be reached at adrodriguez@usatoday.com.
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Kim Kardashian got real about co-parenting with Ye. Here's why it matters.
Reporting by Adrianna Rodriguez, USA TODAY / USA TODAY
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