Dear Eric: “Crowded House” was concerned about letting her mother-in-law and boyfriend spend the holidays with them. We had a similar situation with my grandmother, in which many in the family chose not to make the gentleman welcome. Years after my grandmother passed, we found a journal entry saying she wished they had, that due to their pressures, she may have missed a chance for happiness again after losing her husband. It’s your mother-in-law’s life and choice. Don’t miss this chance to support her.

— Been There

Dear Been There: I’m sorry that your grandmother missed this chance and that the family missed the chance to support her. Love after the death of a spouse is never going to look the way outsiders might think it does, but the family should endeavor to empower the mother-in-law

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