TALLAHASSEE, FL - Governor Ron DeSantis has signed into law a new bill called the "Only Say Gay If You Mean Lame" bill, which does just what it says: in Florida schools, you can now only say "gay" if you are calling somebody uncool.

"Here in the free state of Florida, 'gay' only means one thing: totally lame," said DeSantis in a passionate speech at the capitol building. "The rest of the country may be using the term to refer to all kinds of hogwash, teaching our schoolchildren terrible things, but here, we're only gonna say 'gay' to refer to stuff that's dumb, annoying, or mockable."

DeSantis then displayed a slide showing banned uses of the word "gay":

I am attracted to the same sex. Do you think I am gay?

The "G" in LGBTQ stands for "gay."

Neil Patrick Harris is so gay.

He also pr

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