Now that President Donald Trump is demolishing the entire East Wing of the White House – always the ugliest of the two wings, in my opinion – I hope he continues his aggressive historic de-preservation effort and launches a full-on American remodel.

We've now learned the giant ballroom Trump is building on the White House grounds, which he promised would be near the East Wing “but not touching it,” is actually going to replace the East Wing, which construction crews continued demolishing Oct. 22. It should be fully smashed to ruins by the weekend. That’s perfect, because who can afford an East AND a West Wing in this economy?

The $250 million ballroom, nearly twice the size of the White House itself, will be much more modest than some dated, fancy-schmancy “wing.”

Trump has always been great at ruining things

White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt put it best on Oct. 21 when she said of Trump: “He is the builder-in-chief, in large part, he was elected back to this People's House because he is good at building things.”

Exactly. Most people voted for Trump strictly for building purposes. So I say: Let the man cook.

Let’s start with that ridiculous “oval” office he’s forced to use, something historians lamely call “the Oval Office.” Where are the bold, masculine corners? Why is there no place for President Trump to put the vice president, JD Vance, or members of his Cabinet when they don’t behave obsequiously enough?

Trump needs to dispatch the wrecking ball and construction crews and make that stupid office square, something the American people will undoubtedly appreciate.

The Washington Monument is in desperate need of a little neon

Once that’s done, Trump should address the Washington Monument. That ridiculous obelisk is way too pointy, and the exterior marble is primo real estate for some signage. A little scaffolding and a grinder will help get the top rounded out. Then you put a little gold up there and add a neon Trump sign on each side to modernize the monument and fully embrace America’s not-optional Trump aesthetic.

By the way, as with the East Wing demolition and the ballroom project, there’s no need to get preapproval from the National Capital Planning Commission or any other place. Just start smashing and figure things out from there. What are they going to do, make Trump resharpen the Washington Monument? Hah!

Why should Abraham Lincoln get all that space for a monument?

The Lincoln Memorial, obviously, is eating up way too much space for just one guy. Trump could knock about 90% of that thing down and open up space for a food court (Eric Trump could run it) and a MAGA merch shop while still having plenty of room for a “God Bless America” Trump Tower Hotel and Casino.

Trump is already planning to build an arch that resembles the Arc de Triomphe in Paris, but he shouldn’t stop at Washington, DC. Up in New York City, the president needs to send construction barges to level the Statue of Liberty and replace it with something more modern and useful: A 300-foot statue of Donald Trump holding up a “TURN BACK!” sign.

This is why Americans put Trump in office, folks. He’s a builder. Our country’s historical sites are in desperate need of updating, except for the Confederate statues and monuments – those are precious and must be preserved.

So let’s allow the builder to tear stuff down and build! Not that he needs our permission, as evidenced by the rubble that was once the White House’s East Wing.

Follow USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke on Bluesky at @rexhuppke.bsky.social and on Facebook at facebook.com/RexIsAJerk

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Trump bulldozes East Wing. Why stop there? The Oval Office needs some corners. | Opinion

Reporting by Rex Huppke, USA TODAY / USA TODAY

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