I'm a millionaire and had a rift with a family member over a $1,000 loan. It wasn't about the money.

When one of my relatives asked for a $1,000 loan, I felt two emotions immediately: guilt and dread.

Guilt because I had more financial resources than they did — I'm a millionaire who has worked in finance for decades. Dread because I've seen, both professionally and personally, how quickly money can complicate even the best of relationships.

As a financial planner professional turned financial therapist, I specialize in wealth alignment — helping ultra-high-net-worth individuals and couples transform money from a source of stress into one of connection, impact, and lasting fulfillment.

Still, this situation brought me face-to-face with the very thing I help others navigate: the emotional land mines of lending money to family.

I approached the ask like a financial planner — and a therap