There are some moments that tech nerds will never forget. Like Steve Jobs introducing the first iPhone with a live demo of its groundbreaking “multi-touch” screen or that time that Jobs pulled the first MacBook Air from a manila envelope to demonstrate how insanely thin it was. Okay, whatever, we mostly just remember shit that Steve Jobs said and did, but still, we remember it all the same.

And however epic those moments were, they’re just so, I don’t know, obvious. So passé! That’s why I’m creating new tech moments in my head so big and groundbreaking that I will remember the time and date I witnessed them. Moments like when I learned that smart candles are technically a thing. That’s right: smart candles . Welcome to the f*cking future.

For this momentous achievement in the wor

See Full Page