GREEN BAY, WI - Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers stirred up controversy last week when it was discovered that instead of taking the safe and effective Covid vaccine, like all the other NFL players, he had immunized himself by drinking a pint of Joe Rogan blood, which kills the virus within minutes and provides immunity for up to 60 years.

The former MVP tested positive for Covid last week, and the NFL promptly fined him $15,000 for "being one of those disgusting anti-vaxxers." Fortunately for Rodgers, he was quickly able to revive his friendly relationship with the NFL after smacking around his fiancé a little bit and then murdering a couple of guys outside of the Hilton on Lombardi Avenue.

"Aaron's a good guy, he really is," said NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell after hearing t

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