BURLINGTON, VT - Bernie Sanders expressed bewilderment this week after the announcement that two separate U.S. drug companies have successfully produced a vaccine for COVID while socialist countries like Cuba and Venezuela have not yet announced such a breakthrough.

"I happen to believe," said Bernie to supporters. "That Cuba and Venezuela invest more in their healthcare than we do. They are more compassionate. They are more advanced. There's no way they haven't produced a vaccine already. They are probably just keeping it secret so American capitalist billionaires don't steal it!"

Cuba has assured the world that they produced a "better, cheaper" vaccine than the American drug companies but they misplaced it and they're sure it will turn up soon.

Venezuela also claims to have a 100% eff

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