There is absolutely no reason Venmo should be a social network. And yet…here we are.

Somewhere between the dancing emoji reactions and public payments for “🍕🔥💸,” Venmo became the most chaotic yet intimate feed on the internet . It’s the only social platform that shows you who split a Lyft, who might be low-key dating, and which married couples still Venmo each other $65 every month for “WiFi 🙃.” If Instagram is for soft launches, Venmo is for hard truths.

And while you can’t see how much money someone sends, you can absolutely decode the entire trajectory of a relationship through their Venmo interactions alone.

Below: an epic fictional love story told entirely through requests and payments — from the flirty first spa day to the nuclear security deposit meltdown.

Act 1: The M

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