My father-in-law wants to come visit us. But he wants to bring somebody with him.

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

My father-in-law, “Pete,” can be a challenge. He left his first wife, my husband’s mother, for someone else. When he eventually remarried, it took my husband (then 20-something) a while to warm up to his dad’s second wife. But she ended up being part of our kids’ lives, and they loved her…until Pete left her, too, and she decided not to maintain a relationship with our kids. That was really hard for us.

We have not sought out opportunities for Pete to connect with our kids recently, since we don’t think he’s very good with them or a great role model. But he eventually saved up for the flight to visit us and plans to visit soon. After that was organ