I’m going to get straight to the point: Carbone has a miniyacht. Its name is Fortuna. Its port of origin is the Bellagio Fountain in Las Vegas, whose 8.5 acre chlorined waters reach thirteen feet at their deepest point. A captain named Mike technically could floor it, but he’s not gonna, because that would make you spill your glass of champagne, or your potato chip loaded with Petrossian caviar. There’s also olives and bloody-mary spiced cashews, but that feels like less precious culinary cargo in the grand scheme of things.

And the schemes are indeed grand: the Fortuna sails for forty five minutes to an hour as the fountains Bellagio erupt behind you in a choreographed sky-high water dance to a soundtrack of your choice, which can be anything from Bruno Mars’s “Uptown Funk” to Frank Si

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