TEHRAN — The Islamic Republic of Iran addressed concerns over the recent acquisition of a brand new ballistic missile called the "Jew Smasher 3000" with a spokesman for the regime insisting that the missile is intended to be used for only peaceful purposes.

"We don't want people to get the wrong idea about our new intercontinental ballistic missile that is capable of reaching Tel Aviv and vaporizing all Jew dogs within a 50-mile radius," said Muhammad Muhammad al-Muhammad to reporters. "This is just a tool for peaceful scientific and humanitarian research. We do not intend any harm toward America or the Jews, who will all die like dogs, inshallah."

When asked for clarification on exactly what research would be conducted, spokesman Muhammad explained, "Many missiles are used for war. Like

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