Dear Eric: My husband of 15 years suddenly tells me he fathered a daughter outside of our marriage. She is 5 years old.

He wants to bring the child to me to be her mother and bring her up as my own. What disturbed me is he kept this from me for five years. I am deeply hurt and betrayed. Please, how do I handle these situations?

— Betrayed wife

Dear Betrayed wife: There’s a lot to be disturbed by here. First and of chief importance, your husband doesn’t have a unilateral say over what happens to this little girl. Presuming that her mother is still alive, she has legal rights. Whoever has custody of the child currently also has legal rights and responsibilities. If the child is in crisis, the situation is a little different, but that doesn’t seem to be the case here.

Either way, whatever

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