LONDON - British progressives were already down from their huge losses in Thursday's election, as they lost pretty much every contest to the Conservatives, from Dublingtonampton and Worcestershiresauce to Hogwarts and the Shire.

But their depression turned to sheer terror as Boris Johnson removed his long-running disguise and revealed himself to be Donald Trump.

Classic Trump!

The shocking revelation came after Johnson's victory speech following Conservatives' huge wins in yesterday's elections. "Oh, and by the way, old chaps" -- he removed his mask and revealed himself to be Donald Trump -- "you're all part of the greatest country maybe ever. You're welcome!"

"We're making the UK great again!"

"You should have seen the looks on their faces," Trump said, laughing, later on. "I mean, i

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