WASHINGTON, D.C. — The government's judicial branch continued to methodically work through remaining cases before the upcoming holiday break, with the United States Supreme Court ruling 8-1 in favor of taking turns bonking Justice Sonia Sotomayor on the head with their gavels.

As the court heard arguments on a number of high-profile cases involving gun rights, immigration, and gender surgery for minors, the justices took an impromptu vote to determine if they should line up to take turns whacking Justice Sotomayor over the head.

"It is the court's opinion that Justice Sotomayor be made subject to repeated bonking," Justice Clarence Thomas stated in the majority opinion. "After hearing multiple days of arguments, we agreed that everyone would benefit from having the opportunity to take th

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